Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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