trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
