you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
