I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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