smell my finger.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize