ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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