I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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