I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
