it hurts more in the daytime
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
