i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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