tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize