And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
