the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
