is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
