She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
