you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
