so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my shit smells like andre
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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