Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
