ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This is my gift to your gina
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
