What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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