After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
