As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
her vagine was all disorganized.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
