sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
