My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
