I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I love you. Go after that dick
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