I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
