btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
