You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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