The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize