READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
