can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
