just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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