he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
