thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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