i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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