She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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