Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
