She said her name was "party"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
