Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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