Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
