She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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