those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
