dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
