I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
