Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
