Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I think i got beer on your cat.
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