Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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