Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
