she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
