Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
