Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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