You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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