Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
