i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
