do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
