We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You may now shotgun with the bride
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
