Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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