I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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