OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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